


officially missing you

by mhcore (elyxian)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Late Night Calls, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, NCT Dream - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Sad Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Sorry Not Sorry, This is late, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i miss markhyuck, just markhyuck being cuddly, mark lee sees our tweets, markhyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22171240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyxian/pseuds/mhcore
Summary: "i miss mark hyung more today."-where mark lee comes across a video of donghyuck crying over missing him and so he does what he thinks he's supposed to.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 605





	officially missing you

**Author's Note:**

> this is late, uncalled for and just me still not over mark's 24hr relay where he sang 'officially missing you'

it is after the dream show that donghyuck realizes everything that happened. it's an emotional rollercoaster that even his extremely stalwart of a heart couldn't handle the events ranging from the happiness of performing with the dreamies after a very long nct dream drought to the melancholy brought by each member's ment. 

he's tired. hell, he's absolutely drained. but he can't bring himself to close his eyes and fall into deep slumber. 

he's left all alone in his dorm room. a room he once shared with mark, the first graduate of nct dream. a stupid graduation brought about by their management's shitty system. he shrugs the thought off, trying his best to erase the feeling of loneliness and rolls on his side until he's facing the door.

everything is so dark. his moon lamp is not even lit. the only source of light in his vision is the streak of light seeping through the gap between the door and the floor, a light outside his room that's probably still turned on because jisung and chenle are talking about shit over midnight cereals.

he sighs, trying to forget about crying because he's already cried oceans tonight and he already feels exhausted. it wasn't in his control already when a tear escaped from his eye. he pulls his arms under his chin as he tries his best to close his eyes and catch some z's when his phone screen lit up with a familiar name. 

_mark lee:_  
_u up? can i call?_

just when he was ready to forget about the world already, the world rings him up. the text message is expected. he must have already seen the clips on twitter where he's saying he misses the other. or maybe, the other just felt bored and thought about him. aren't the superm hyungs keeping him occupied enough?

he knows very well he could just close his eyes again and then forget he ever saw mark's message. he knows very well that if he didn't respond, the older would just assume that he's already asleep and too tired to accept calls. but he also knows he just wants to hear mark's voice. something he cannot deny himself of. he yearns to hear mark's voice again after weeks of not hearing from the older. 

he picks his phone up with a hand, keeping the other tucked under his chin. _11:36pm_. the time in korea is obviously not the time wherever mark is right now. it is such an inconvenience for him to call right now. who knows? it might be 2am where he is but he's going to call because 'i had a gut feeling that you can't sleep that's why i'm calling.'

he doesn't respond to the text. but he takes it into his account to call. mark was able to pick up on the second ring, seeming like he actually waited for the first ring to pass because mom said it's too early to pick up on the first ring. 

"hello, hyuck?" the voice was shaky. something between sleepy and nervous. donghyuck finds himself feeling drowsy by the second. he reminds himself to respond.

"hyung, why are u still up?" the question lingers in the cold air of his cold room. it's a question he asks almost everytime he catches mark lee staring at him across the room. 

"couldn't sleep. you?" it's what he always answers to donghyuck's question. but tonight it's different. mark's voice actually sounds like he could use some sleep. he obviously was tired already and close to drifting off. 

"missin' you." the words come up empty but with weight. donghyuck wasn't quite thinking when the words fell out of his mouth. but he's quite relieved because thinking would make him scared and being scared would lead him to losing chances. 

"thought so." mark answers with a hum through the call. and donghyuck stifles a laugh. of course, mark lee would turn the situation to something similar to those times when they spent nights apart and had a contest on who could go the longest without missing the other to the point of calling. 

donghyuck always being the one who loses because mark is too busy to even consider calling.

"hey," mark again calls for the younger's attention. and upon hearing donghyuck hum, he brings it upon himself that maybe the younger is already drifting to sleep. he still isn't though, and so mark will make him. 

"want me to sing you a song?" it's been years ever since mark felt confident enough or just not scared to sing around donghyuck, being the one who actually is there when mark just wanted to laze around on a day off from schedules and promotions. 

"you know very much i can't say no to you, canada." donghyuck's voice reverbrates in a low tone but nonetheless, the nickname makes mark smile. it's the gentle way it rolls off donghyuck's tongue that makes the name actually feel like itself. like canada. like home. 

he starts singing to a song donghyuck thinks he's heard from mark when they were spending time at the 127 dorms. 

_officially missing you._

donghyuck is not yet that fluent in english but he picks up some words and he knows what they mean. 

"you can't miss me, mark lee. it should be the other way around. i'm the only one supposed to be missing you." the comment was supposed to be a snarky one, meant to throw mark off and suppress the amazement that's about to spill from donghyuck's mouth. 'debut as a vocal now mark lee, you're a good one.' 

"you know that's not true." donghyuck feels his chest tightening. and soon enough, the tears he were holding on for so long starts falling. the weather would be actually jealous once it discovers that donghyuck's eyes hold more rain than the clouds. 

"stop it, mark lee." it's an empty threat. one that goes along with the wind. but mark feels offended.

"i'm allowed to miss you, donghyuck. my feelings, not yours." mark's voice comes out as something close to reprimanding and donghyuck laughs at the spontaneity right before him. mark follows along. 

"no really, canada. i miss you." the tears are overflowing like that when he delivered his ment in the dream show. 

"hey, are you crying?" the sobs from the other side serve as answers to mark. he's having a hard time figuring himself out and the thought of donghyuck crying makes it even harder for him to think that he's not catching feelings for the younger. he just wants to hold him close, wrap him in his arms and never let go, 'fuck the schedule, i'm taking you with me. unless you just want me to stay, that would be better.'

but he knows no better. and settles with the casual 'goodnight hyuck, i'll be back before you know it.' while donghyuck is sleeping because according to doyoung, he's a growing child and he needs to rest to grow and especially to perform well during promotion periods. it calms mark down to know that there are actually hyungs to look after donghyuck when he's not around or when he has solo schedules, or ones with superm or nct u. it calms his nerves to know that donghyuck is loved. donghyuck is cared for.

"i just miss you so much it hurts... so much." mark holds his breath. a pointless try in holding back the tears that are starting to form at the back of his eyelids. his eyes are long closed and ready to drift to sleep but consciousness seems to flood back to him when he heard the younger sob. 

the pain is a ghost. something in between there and non-existent. he knows to himself that it's selfish to think that donghyuck might have feelings for him too. it's not too far from reality but stubborn as he is, mark wouldn't believe unless donghyuck tells it to his face. much to keep himself from heartbreak.

"i'll be home soon, hyuck." it's not what hyuck needs to hear at the moment but mark again, keeps it at that. scared that he might lose something by trying to attain another. he can't lose the friendship. he's sure he won't be able to take it. 

"how soon is soon, mark? i haven't seen you for weeks already." yes, it has been weeks already since they last saw each other. donghyuck having to stay at the dreamies dorm for their dream show preparation and also for their boom promotions. 

mark has been anything but unregarding when it comes to donghyuck's projects with the dreamies but he himself can't help but think that maybe it would be better if he was there with him or vise versa. selfish as it may sound, he doesn't know where to stand without donghyuck. it feels like he's an idol without a record. like a stray dog without a home to go to after the day. he feels like he's just mark lee, an uncapable one.

"i'll be home soon, sunshine. i promise you that." they call each other names, ranging from devil to baby but this one, it's donghyuck's favorite. it's that nickname that makes him feel like an actual sunshine and fucking ready to just radiate positive energy to everyone around him. this time, it's different. 

he tears up even more because he's tired and he feels negative about everything and he just misses mark. his own sunshine. sometimes it becomes more difficult than normal to just shrug off the fact that a sunshine also has its own sunshine who he cannot live without.

donghyuck calms down after hearing mark's last words. a promise is a promise when it comes to mark. he knows damn well how the older goes out of his way just to pick up the strawberry cake donghyuck asked for him, knowing the bakery is two streets away from their dorms because 'it is what you promised mark hyung'. 

the sniffles start to die down but mark lee likes to believe otherwise. donghyuck might as well just drift to sleep in order to forget the pain that mark caused him. i hurt him again, mark can't help but blame himself for the pain the younger's feeling. the pain is a ghost and it sure as hell is there. 

he keeps the phone to his ear, trying his best to stay awake because donghyuck might make him promise a slice of strawberry cake again or something. he sure does hope that it's something else though. 

a few more moments of silence and quiet sniffling when the gentle noises transformed into gentle snores. mark knows those kind of sounds. it's what donghyuck makes when he's damn tired. he doesn't snore so loud and that's one of the million things mark is thankful for that donghyuck is his roommate.

he stills, the world seems to fall silent, mute behind the little sounds coming from the younger. as if waiting for something to happen, he picks on his fingernails. a habit he picked up from donghyuck after constantly telling him not to and then finally growing tired and giving up. 

he's nervous. the bubbling tension within his stomach, slowly rushing up to his throat. everything feels heavy. the emotions, the tears in his eyes that are threatening to fall. 

he ends the call but not before whispering a small "goodnight, hyuck. i love you."

he falls asleep immediately then.

* * *

it's already 8 in the morning but the dorms are still quiet. outside, it looks like a storm is looming over but it's not too cold. donghyuck might go out for a walk later in the afternoon. 

his stomach grumbles, a sound that makes him roll his eyes. he surely ate a lot at last night's after party. and so it is just absurd that he's starving again. 

he gets up, and immediately feels like going back to bed. he slips on a pair of slippers under his bed and made his way to the dorm's kitchen. 

there he saw jeno standing while stirring a cup of coffee, another one already sitting beside the one he's currently stirring. 

jeno glances at him for a second before asking him if he wants a cup too. he just gently rejects the offer but says a thank you nonetheless. 

he walks to their shared fridge, and he pulls out the milk and then grabs for the box of froot loops next. 

jeno is carefully watching him saunter along the kitchen. cups of coffee long forgotten, remain on top of the table waiting to be picked up and brought to jaemin and jeno's shared room. 

"about last night, hyuck. are you okay?" the question surprises donghyuck. much to the point where he stopped moving for a few seconds. 

he knows he looks paler than usual. he gives a small smile towards jeno's direction. jeno has always been the first one to notice when there something bothering donghyuck. well that is not before mark lee graduated from dream. 

"i am." it's a short reply. he makes it as convincing as possible but no, he knows he can't fool jeno. hell he can't even fool himself. jeno is a more difficult victim.

"you know we miss you too, hyuck. we've waited for so long. know that we're always here for you whenever you need to talk." jeno then smiles and then goes towards hyuck to give him a pat on the back. 

donghyuck wants to kick himself. he wants to hit himself for making jeno and the other dreamies feel like they're always second choice. they're not. 

he misses them so much too and donghyuck feels to torn because he does not know what to do to make things better. when will things get better. 

he shoves spoonfuls of the cereal to his mouth but after the third spoonful, he already feels full. he takes the bowl to his room and sets it beside his moon lamp on the side table. and goes back to bed. he reaches for his phone and sends a 'sorry' to jeno before closing his eyes again. he really feels sorry for being selfish and unappreciative. 

they're just a few doors away but he can't muster up the courage to go up to them to tell them they're worth it and that they are important to him. 

he receives a smiley from jaemin and an it's ok from jeno a few seconds later. 

* * *

he's awaken by a series of knocks on his door. and next he hears a muffled "hyuck". if he hadn't spent nearly 10 years hearing this voice, he wouldn't have recognized its owner. his heart leaps in his chest. 

there's an underlying excitement. but once mark knocks again, he is enveloped with the fear that has been surrounding his head for the past few days. he's here again, and donghyuck can't help but count how long would it be until he leaves again. how many days would it take before he's left alone again.

"okay fuck it, i'm coming in." he doesn't actually know why mark knocked when his door isn't even locked. 

he's greeted with a mark lee still in his airport clothes. well, that's what his getup now looks like. donghyuck doesn't know if he just got back home or if he's on his way to another country again. 

they look at each other, not moving, not even making a sound. both of them just wants to reach out but none of them does so. mark closes the door before turning around again to drop his bag near the bed that used to be his when he still lives with the dreamies. he transferred to the 127 dorms when he graduated from dream. 

"i thought you missed me." mark says, the hint of teasing evident in his words. donghyuck smiles and then sits up on his bed. he just stares at mark, the smile on his face slowly fading away. he's happy. he feels content. he's fine just seeing mark across the room with him. 

a few seconds later and mark already feels his skin itch. donghyuck is just starinig at him and he wants to throw up. he's feeling so nauseous he doesn't know what to do. i shouldn't have come here, he thinks. 

his lungs feel restricted, he can't breathe. and so he remembers he's still wearing a mask. he unclings it from both of his ears. he also removes his cap only to put it on his head again when he remembers how flat his hair looks right now. not fluffy. not cute.

donghyuck leans back to his bed again, and shifts to the left side, leaving the right vacant. 

oh. 

mark moves closer, his knees buckling with every step. why is he nervous? this isn't the first time he's lying beside donghyuck. his bestfriend. 

he steps on his ankles to remove his shoes and proceeds to kick them under his own bed. he's hovering beside hyuck when he meets the younger's eyes. it displays a different kind of longing. one with stars, one with warmth and coldness and mark feels the nausea coming back. 

his eyes roam the younger's face and he flinches when donghyuck brings his hand up. he was just going to remove mark's cap for him but mark's so at edge a small movement could cause him to fly to the ceiling like a scared cat. a baby lion indeed.

he's still on his knees when donghyuck reaches to comb through his locks. he almost feels like sleeping. he's so tired the tiniest bit of contact could send him to dreamland. 

the hand donghyuck brought up to his hair is also the same one he trails along mark's temple, down to his cheeks and neck. mark keeps his eyes closed and his arms strong because one swift move and he'll fall on top of the younger. lucky for him, that's what donghyuck wants. 

donghyuck's fingers ghost over the collar of his shirt. mark looks at his eyes again and he looks so beautiful and god mark is so weak. 

donghyuck clings onto his neck and then pulls the body hovering over him down to his chest. he wants mark lee close and he wants no space between them. he claims the older's lips, the taste a mixture of mint that seemed like from mark's tictacs he always remembers to offer him and the milk from his bowl of cereal this morning. 

the position is not the most comfortable, mark having both arms in between his and donghyuck's chests.

the kiss is so sudden, and mark lee is so not ready. the air in his lungs leave at once and his eyes flutter close. 

he pulls away from the kiss, and he swears he sees donghyuck blushing a deep shade of red under him. he looks everywhere but mark and mark curses himself. he embarassed donghyuck. he fixates his arms on either of donghyuck's sides and he lifts a hand to turn donghyuck's chin, urging the younger to look at him. 

he leans in and kisses the younger. this time, they were both ready. the timing is ready and their bodies are flushed closer. the warmth they're sharing is enough to make their faces flush bright red. 

mark thought the first kiss already took all the air out of his lungs but boy is he wrong. the second kiss feels like he's going to hyperventilate. it all feels too much but he knows things will be alright. he feels like he's home. well, he is home. donghyuck is his home. 

their mouths start to move in sync, according to plan, and as if they've been practicing for this exact moment weeks prior. 

mark smiles between the kiss but donghyuck just pulls him in deeper. he finds his hands on underneath the younger's shirt, carressing the soft skin below his ribcage. 

he pulls donghyuck's lower lip between his teeth and sucks on it. this draws out a gasp from the younger. and mark does it again. 

when they felt like they're out or breath, they part and without talking, mark buries his face in the crook of donghyuck's neck. 

"you taste like tictacs. have you eaten anything?" donghyuck asked, and mark shakes his head.

"why?" donghyuck asks again.

mark shifts until his face is not buried in donghyuck's neck anymore and he could speak. 

"hopped on the earliest flight home the minute i woke up because i saw a video of you crying last night saying you missed me." although muffled, donghyuck could hear the pout in his hyung's voice. 

"idiot." he says fondly, trying his best to sound like he's reprimanding the other. 

"your idiot." mark says and nuzzles again against donghyuck's neck. 

"my idiot." 

there was a comfortable silence. they do not know what comes next. they're just by themselves, content and free. tomorrow might not come but they have tonight. 

"how about you? have you eaten anything besides that cereal i tasted from your... uh, mouth?" mark lifts his head to ask. donghyuck wants to chuckle. he wants to tackle mark lee to the ground because damn he looks so adorable and he looks like he could fit inside a pocket. he wants to keep mark lee to himself and never share him with anyone. 

"nope." donghyuck replies popping the p. mark frowns at him. 

"i'm too lazy to cook something." he continues but it's an empty excuse. 

"idiot." he hears mark retort before using him again as a pillow. 

mark might as well be asleep already but donghyuck is wide awake. there are a lot of questions inside his head. he doesn't want to ask, too scared he might not be ready for the answer. he pulls mark closer to his body, relishing in the warmth their bodies share. he could stay like this forever. 

"mark lee, what are we?" he asks, barely coming off as a whisper. he wishes mark is already asleep so he could save himself from embarrassment. the reply comes after a few lingering seconds.

"idiots. we're idiots. now sleep." donghyuck smiles. the answer is enough to make him close his eyes again. he's not restless anymore. not with the weight on his chest that is, mark fucking lee. 

his phone vibrates not long after, he picks it up to read a series of text messages from his 127 hyungs.

_yong:_  
_mark left early today. says he's going home._

_yong:_  
_oh, i forgot you were with the dreamies. i'll just ask johnny abt mark._

_johnny:_  
_drove mark to dream's dorm. he was knocking on my door at 7 in the morning askig me to take him home._

_johnny:_  
_dude, he's already at home so i was confused as fuck_

_johnny:_  
_and then i remembered home translates to donghyuck in mark's dictionary._

_yong:_  
_ok johnny says he's home already._

_he locks his phone and sets it back on his side table._

* * *

jaemin is not the type to barge into other members' rooms but he feels a strange need to go see donghyuck. he knows donghyuck feels lonely and so he reminds himself to be there for his friend. 

he understands that it is not easy for donghyuck to be away from someone he basically grew up with. he held the doorknob to donghyuck's door and he slowly turned it. the bodies tangled on donghyuck's bed made him smile. 

donghyuck is home. he just knows. 

**Author's Note:**

> so there's that. this piece stayed in my writings for so long i never thought it would actually see the light of day. (blame my insecurities).


End file.
